“Ode to a 2012 Survivalist”   

By Pixie Pralay

Carina opens the front door, and excitement shimmies down her spine as she hears Pato's footsteps. She instinctively places her hand over her womb.  Ally hugs her, emotion draping over them like mink stoles on rich shoulders. 

"I'll give you some time alone with-", Ally starts. 

Pato runs down the stairs like a hummingbird on cocaine, destroying Ally's sentence.  News too big to contain pushes his cartoon eyes wide and blocks them from blinking. Grabbing Carina's shoulders, he pulls her into the living room and directs her to sit. 

"I have big news!"  Glancing over at Ally, he realizes he's failed to acknowledge her. 

"Ally!  Get in here!" he shouts.

"Nice to meet you, Pato," she says, with only a faint echo of the sarcasm likely blaring in her mind. 

Ally walks into the living room, and Pato launches into his next sentence before she has a chance to settle in a chair.

Looking at Carina, he says, "I have something huge to tell you."

Either a terrible actress or devoid of the desire to act, Ally is perpetually unable to disguise her thoughts.  Her face wears disbelief, amusement and curiosity as she witnesses Pato's complete lack of manners in the presence of a guest.

“Yes, OK, you already announced you have big news.  Why don’t you just tell us what it is now?  I have news I want to tell you, too, you know,” Carina says with an angelic smile.  

Carina drops into daydream as Pato raves about who knows what.  She sees that his overwhelming charisma has hooked Ally's interest and reeled her into his story, his excitement canceling the offense that could have easily taken residence in the lines of her eyes.  She's relieved.  Pato's energy is intense and big, more wild rhinocerus than human. While the purity of his intentions generally attracts those around him like flies to fluorescence, every now and then, Carina sees him overwhelm, repel, and even scare new people.  Carina is happy to see that Ally seems OK in the presence of her mad scientist husband. 

Amused by her own thoughts as she watches the scene between the two unfold on mute, she's only barely disappointed by Pato's trigger-happy mouth as she impatiently waits for her chance to give him her news. 

Upon noticing Carina's half-smile and glazed eyes, Pato demands, "Carina!  Are you even listening?"

"Oh, sorry.  I was just thinking about the future-", she starts.

And then he lets the bombs fly.

"What future?  There is no future!" he screams. 

"Oh, Pato, what are you talking about this time?" Carina almost whines.

Ally throws her a worried side-glance.  Carina's hit with the uncomfortable realization that Pato's saying something she doesn't want to hear.  Her stomach tightens as she fights the feeling that he's about to spoil what should be the most amazing moment of her life.  She braces herself. 

"What is it?" she asks, hesitantly.

"I know the date when the world will end," he proclaims with pride. 

Carina relaxes. 

"Well, don't you even want to know?  We don't have much time!" he presses.

Ally is like a mouse hoping to spy a crack in the wall.  She obviously wants to disappear.  

"Can't your theories wait?  I have something important to tell you-"

Her words nail him like a prizefighter's punch in the face. 

"Something important?  More important than the end of the world?  Are you crazy?  So you just don't take me seriously at all?  Is that it?" he cries. 

"Please don't get upset.  It's just, I have something real, I mean not that your news isn't real... I have something more, concrete, to talk about," she says, trying to reassure him.  Seismic waves ripple through her heart. She fears the earthquake to come. 

"Whatever it is you have to say pales in comparison to the end of the world.  Surely you realize that.  If you took me seriously, you would have some kind of reaction right now," he explodes. 

Ally slinks out of the room.  Carina understands she's hurt his feelings and probably embarrassed him since her friend was here to witness this interaction.  

"I didn't mean to upset you.  I do want to hear about the end of the world, I promise.  It's just, I want to tell you my news to.  It's big-" she starts.

"You don't get it.  The world is going to end on December 21, 2012.  That is the only date that's important to me, now.  There is no future!   No future vacations, no future goals, no future anything!  No future generations, unless we figure out how to get past that date.  Nothing else matters to me in the meantime.   My only goal for the next few years is to make it to December 22!  I’ll explain it all to you, and then we have to start planning.  We’re going to have to tunnel down under the house, so there’s lots to talk about.”

While Carina suspected Pato might be a little left of sane in the past, it is only now that his mental shakiness is confirmed.  Her husband is nuttier than the Mad Hatter on mushrooms.  Staring at him with her mouth slightly agape, she can’t think of a word to say out loud.  In her head, though, she mutters, “Oh, crap.”

To be continued